After paying my car ticket at Giant, walked out, Pearl Drops Whitening Teeth toothpaste in my Watsons' bag, Julie's biscuit in my Giant's bag, walking towards my car. Started the engine, Alicia Keys playing..Like You'll Never See Me Again...thoughts began playing in my mind. As I drove out with Alicia Keys playing softly in the background, I think, same life Allen, knocked off at 7-ish, come out from Giant, driving on Persiaran Bandar Utama, waiting at the traffic light at Centrepoint, back home to Riana Green. I don't know if it's good or bad. Sometimes boredom creeps in, but like today, I felt relaxation. Something I've never felt for so long. I felt mellowness-but in a good way. Slow, chill-out,mellow kind of feeling as if Im having Erimin. People like me do not know how to relax and be calm. So that moment of calmness I felt is a bliss. Just so relaxed I do not have to bother about anything else. So it occurs to me, as Alicia Keys is still playing that I need to come home and write this entry for my blog-(of course I burnt Alicia Keys into my laptop first,playing it now to give me the inspiration to write).
My personal recommendation of her repertoire of songs:
1) Like You'll Never See Me Again
2) If I Ain't Got You
3) Lesson Learned (featuring John Mayer)
4) The Thing About Love
5) Prelude to a Kiss
6) Superwoman
Oh yea and please top that list up with this:
7) The Trouble With Love Is - Kelly Clarkson
I personally think that people use a cover everyday to tell the world how to see them. Or a mask if you would like it. They are telling the world to see them they way they want to be seen, not what they are. It's not wrong really, I am like that too. I just would like to use this as a topic for this blog, sub-topic? Yea sub-topic. You see, forget the names. This person I know, she told me she doesn't like hanging out with people. She said being alone is cool and that she is OK with going solo. But the truth is she has been afraid all her life to interact with people as she does not know how to. Well, a mask again. It's not wrong though, to protect herself.
I recently went to a doctor. He said I have phobic anxiety. The trouble with me is I just can't feel at home in the world. Do you know how tormenting it is for people like us? A bit of statistics here: 30 million Americans suffer from this kind of phobic anxiety. So the solutions? There is an abundance really,
I recently went to a doctor. He said I have phobic anxiety. The trouble with me is I just can't feel at home in the world. Do you know how tormenting it is for people like us? A bit of statistics here: 30 million Americans suffer from this kind of phobic anxiety. So the solutions? There is an abundance really,
1) Anxious To Please by James Rapson & Craig English
2) Psychologist (who will prescribe you some drugs to relieve anxiety)
Well, I asked for Erimin-5 at first, but the doctor said no-no. He gave me the anti-anxiety pills instead. It does help, calms me down, makes my mood mellow. God-damned isn't it? I never thought that I would be going to a doctor for this kind of consult. But as they say, as you age you tend to believe and accept more in things that you don't when you were younger.
And since Im writing this blog, there is something I have to get off my chest. That is the healthy way, as many psychologists I read from said. Now, you see, the problem is this moron has been bugging me for quite some time at work. Technically, I would consider myself being sexually-harassed emotionally; physically occasionally. Now, I've been real harsh to her by giving her the cold shoulder hoping that she will get the message. But instead, it seems like her persistence somehow can be likened to Gabriel the Arc Angel who just wouldn't back off. On occasions, she would get real close to me as if she wants skin contact with me. And on occasions, she would show some idiotic smiling face to me hoping that I would joke back at her and hitting my hands playfully sometimes. Here's the best part, she lashes out at me when I rejected her invitation to a date. Terrific isn't it? Im still trying to figure out where did that come from. Ha! And now she wants to go to gym with me. Intrusion of privacy is one thing she does not seem to comprehend from her years of life (intruding my private life so as we talk). The notion of "We're only colleagues, not even friends" is another piece of theory she failed to absorb, which is truly sad I think. This is the last time I am going to tolerate her nonsense so as we speak. Readers, how would you feel if someone puts her face say just 5cm from you when she talks to you? Frankly, there should be a distance even between friends. By doing that, she disgusts me. Even more Im pissed because it gives me added unneccesary pressure everyday at work. I have to constantly be on my guard when she's around, for fear that when I turn around, I may kiss her face. Readers again, can anyone tell me how should I deal with her? Opinions will be greatly appreciated really. Really, I would have treated her like any other person in the office if she didn't behave that way towards me. Look at that girl in Services, I know she likes me, well, I heard and sensed, but she never acted in a way that made me feel pressured. So Im cool with her. Anyway, one last time and Im gonna put my words into action and she will be wiped out once and for all.
And since Im writing this blog, there is something I have to get off my chest. That is the healthy way, as many psychologists I read from said. Now, you see, the problem is this moron has been bugging me for quite some time at work. Technically, I would consider myself being sexually-harassed emotionally; physically occasionally. Now, I've been real harsh to her by giving her the cold shoulder hoping that she will get the message. But instead, it seems like her persistence somehow can be likened to Gabriel the Arc Angel who just wouldn't back off. On occasions, she would get real close to me as if she wants skin contact with me. And on occasions, she would show some idiotic smiling face to me hoping that I would joke back at her and hitting my hands playfully sometimes. Here's the best part, she lashes out at me when I rejected her invitation to a date. Terrific isn't it? Im still trying to figure out where did that come from. Ha! And now she wants to go to gym with me. Intrusion of privacy is one thing she does not seem to comprehend from her years of life (intruding my private life so as we talk). The notion of "We're only colleagues, not even friends" is another piece of theory she failed to absorb, which is truly sad I think. This is the last time I am going to tolerate her nonsense so as we speak. Readers, how would you feel if someone puts her face say just 5cm from you when she talks to you? Frankly, there should be a distance even between friends. By doing that, she disgusts me. Even more Im pissed because it gives me added unneccesary pressure everyday at work. I have to constantly be on my guard when she's around, for fear that when I turn around, I may kiss her face. Readers again, can anyone tell me how should I deal with her? Opinions will be greatly appreciated really. Really, I would have treated her like any other person in the office if she didn't behave that way towards me. Look at that girl in Services, I know she likes me, well, I heard and sensed, but she never acted in a way that made me feel pressured. So Im cool with her. Anyway, one last time and Im gonna put my words into action and she will be wiped out once and for all.
Hmm infatuation or love? No one can say for sure, can they? For most people, if it doesn't turn out the way they want it to be, they say it's only infatuation, and that the feeling goes off after a while. If it happens that both clicked, he says it's love and it's so strong he will love her for the rest of his life. Ha! Funny isn't it? Tell me this is not true, whoever is reading this. You can't deny it. People just want things the easy way. Ohh I haven't been in love for so long Im just quite numb to this kind of thing. I met some really nice friends recently, Wai Peng, Kelly, Icey, Lian, and my very good brother Heng. He's like Christian Troy to me, Sean Mcnamara I am hypothetically.
Alright, guess that's about it for now. Gotta take a puff outside now, carry some weights and call my mother. Can't wait to move in my new home. Till next time.
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