A Mixed Wednesday Night

The scene was melancholic. He had just hurried from work to get a drink in a pub. The name’s Dave’s Deli Pizza. It served beer apart from pizzas, to clear the confusion. As he entered the place, it was like New Year’s eve. It was crowded with people. Three professional-dressed Westerners were at the bar, relaxingly sipping their freshly brewed Hoeergarden. Manchester United was playing against Liverpool on the LCD hung up on the wall. A debate was going on between the three, at times arguing as to who will win the match. Straight opposite as he entered, a couple was there, exchanging jokes, laughing and hitting each other softly, couldn’t care less about what’s happening around them. It’s as if they were the only beings left in this world. He eyed for a seat less crowded, the one right back of the pub, so that he could feel less concentrated on things….or people around him. He needed that, to just relax. Just right in front of him was another couple, she of Japanese descent; he of American. She had slanted eyes, the likes of a Japanese, tanned skin the likes of a life-saver on Baywatch, dilated pupils as if the alcohol itself had consumed her. He, on the other hand was wearing a pair of Quiksilver shorts, a beige T-shirt; a typical American with unshaven beard. He was in his early 30s. Loving couple, love is in the air. Rain poured from upon the sky, raindrops occasionally splashing on his mobile which was placed on top of the table. It was a cool 25 degrees…maybe…in a humid country like Malaysia. It was a very peaceful evening for him…innerly. A serene setting where he sat there sipping his beer…alone…checking for messages at times on his mobile. That night, he had decided to go alone, despite the friends and colleagues he could had asked out. What was on his mind? I couldn’t keep asking, what could make someone go drink alone? I couldn’t resist to ask. He said “It’s all about being alone”. He further elaborated that it was about focusing on yourself for a short moment of time…to be detached from the world so crowded we live in everyday. He quoted ‘Mitch Albom’ on 'Tuesdays at Morrie’ for that.

“Why do you need that man? Why didn’t you find someone else to drink with you?”

He said, “Well..”, he laughed “I’m not sick my friend, I think it all has to do with love.”

“Yea, makes sense, but how?”, I asked.

He inhaled his cigarette, paused for a few seconds, and then he said, “You know…in the end, it’s all about love. Ultimately, everyone needs and wants to love and to be loved. Our society had brainwashed us to think that looks is a requirement for love. Ugly girls are brushed aside no matter how perfect their personality is. Ugly and poor guys are even worse. They are defeated twice. Like myself, I’ve met this really cool girl with a cool personality but she’s not pretty. I think twice. That’s the way we have been conditioned to think my friend. To penetrate through that invisible yet harmful ‘glass’, you have to look deep inside yourself and ask ‘What do I really want?’ “

Im trying. He said. And I have been trying hard.

As we were talking, he kept checking on his mobile for messages. Looked busy! I couldn’t help but asked who was he waiting for. He said…”Friends..you know”. I stopped asking. Suddenly he put the receiver over my ears and I heard an automated machine reply saying in Mandarin, ”This is an answering machine, please leave your message after the ring tone. The owner will contact you shortly”. Though I was a million puzzled, I didn’t ask. He lifted up his mug of beer and sipped.

Ahhh…he said…long day at work.

Yea…that’s life. I said…hoping he would satisfy my curiosity on the automated voice machine.

He kept sipping, now lighting up his cigarette.

I broke the silence “So…man…who was that?” I gave him a very puzzled look, the kind where I wouldn’t leave without getting an answer.

Have you been such a busybody all your life? He looked at me, grinning.

Oh cmon man. I said.

“My ex”, he said, “you know the one back in college. It’s the one thing I’ve been wanting to do for 6 years since I last heard from her – to call her – but I didn’t for 6 years.

“Something held me back. It’s been so long I’m not sure anymore what held me back. But at times, I just wish I could know if she’s doing alright, if she’s still alive. Man I wouldn’t know after so many years. She could no longer be alive, who knows.”

Give her a call then man, what the hell? I said.

Yea, that’s what I’m doing now, you blind? What’s the matter with you?

We both laughed.

“You see man, it’s not that I still love her, she could probably be married now. It’s because she was the most passionate love I’ve ever had. Apart from her, I’ve never had anything close. I’m still searching, yearning for the ‘one’ to come by. That’s what makes me still alone. I couldn’t settle for average. Some interpreted it as being too choosy. Well, we all have standards, benchmark you know”.

Yea I guess so. Deep in my heart, I couldn’t agree more. The one most passionate love in your life, ‘vena vidi vici’ (I came I saw I conquered). The ‘one’ conquered us. But then they left. Left us in a daze. Wishing we will wake up again. To walk ourselves out of the maze.

Well………………..he continued, “It gets lonely sometimes my friend, being alone and sometimes I think to just settle for someone, but then when that moment comes, I can’t.

It must have been hard on you pal, I said.

You bet.

So, tonight the talk is all about love.

It was a nice night. 8 mugs of beer all together.

Quote of the day (from Allen) : Frown not, despair not, worry not, for EVENTUALLY, everything will be alright.