[July 16th 2008 – 10 p.m.]
It’s amazing how human mood can change drastically in just a couple of hours. Moments after showering with cold splashing water down on my face, I felt a resurge of life, as if something divine has been breathed inside me. A bit of exaggeration maybe, for it wasn’t ‘that’ great after all. But nevertheless I did feel better after her phone call and ‘some’ activity. While I was showering, I knew I was at the bottom of the abyss as energy began to drain out of every possible openings of my body. I could feel it flowing out from my fingers. It then started its course of dripping when a certain amount had been drained dry. This was a feeling where you felt nothing above your eyes. Pupils began to contract. You feel your soul isolating itself from your body in a very slow manner. It was slow, but it was departing. The enthusiasm was faltering. The need to stay alive was wavering, to the point of diminishing. What if I had a gun? Why do people pull the trigger? Kurt Cobain, and many more followers. What does it guarantee? Does it bring you to another dimension where freedom from emotional distress of any kinds awaits? Will a combination of a perfect girlfriend with a perfect world free of miseries await on the other side? Let’s just say that the mystery surrounding committing suicide does not puzzle me as much as they did before when I was younger. Does anyone know ‘A Smile That Explodes’ by Joseph Arthur? Try listening to it and visualize my point above. Now that the mellow vibes are getting to me, I wouldn’t mind trying…
It’s amazing how human mood can change drastically in just a couple of hours. Moments after showering with cold splashing water down on my face, I felt a resurge of life, as if something divine has been breathed inside me. A bit of exaggeration maybe, for it wasn’t ‘that’ great after all. But nevertheless I did feel better after her phone call and ‘some’ activity. While I was showering, I knew I was at the bottom of the abyss as energy began to drain out of every possible openings of my body. I could feel it flowing out from my fingers. It then started its course of dripping when a certain amount had been drained dry. This was a feeling where you felt nothing above your eyes. Pupils began to contract. You feel your soul isolating itself from your body in a very slow manner. It was slow, but it was departing. The enthusiasm was faltering. The need to stay alive was wavering, to the point of diminishing. What if I had a gun? Why do people pull the trigger? Kurt Cobain, and many more followers. What does it guarantee? Does it bring you to another dimension where freedom from emotional distress of any kinds awaits? Will a combination of a perfect girlfriend with a perfect world free of miseries await on the other side? Let’s just say that the mystery surrounding committing suicide does not puzzle me as much as they did before when I was younger. Does anyone know ‘A Smile That Explodes’ by Joseph Arthur? Try listening to it and visualize my point above. Now that the mellow vibes are getting to me, I wouldn’t mind trying…
3 comments:
wow, i gotta admit i've never really thought of 'A Smile That Explodes' that way.
should i start burning you happier songs instead? :( hannah montana?
Well written article.
Hi Morwenna, thanks for your comment. never thought anyone would read my blog. do you have one too?would love to read yours :)
Allen
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